They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize