Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
