I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
