IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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