Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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