I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
