Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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