Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize