Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
