"it" just moved
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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