I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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