Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
