i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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