just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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