You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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