Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
