operation have a gay friend backfired
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
