Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
