My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize