At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
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that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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