Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
