first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
