I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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