Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize