What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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