P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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