I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
