do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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