six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
