How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
