i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
love makes seman taste better
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
