What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
