Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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