There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize