Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
