I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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