so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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