Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize