I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
3 2 1 whiskey
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
