i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This house was built for laser tag.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
