Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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