Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we're making bets on your personal life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
