OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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