There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
