just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
