At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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