I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize