Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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