i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
