i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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