What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize