Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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