Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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