She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
