ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
