I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I AM VODKA MAN
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
