Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
