How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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