i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize