My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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