He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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