This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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