When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
